In all seriousness, I totally get that I can start goals any time, and I should always strive to be a good person no matter what time of year. However, I really do appreciate the "excuse" to reevaluate my life and find ways to improve.
This year, the hubby and I decided to set goals based on four dimensions of wellness:
Spiritual
Physical
Emotional
Intellectual
Setting these goals has made me realize places in my life where I need to improve, but, just as importantly, it helped me remember that I'm actually doing ok in a lot of areas. I think that so much of the time we focus so much on what we are doing wrong that we forget that, in the words of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, "You are doing better than you think you are."
Reflecting back, I had so many experiences that helped me grow, that strengthened my testimony, and that brought me closer to the people who are the most important in my life. I want to share a few of them in hopes that someone can relate, or benefit somehow from hearing my experiences.
The first experience was that we moved from one end of the state to the other, approximately a 4 1/2 hour drive. We moved from the place we met, went to school, from the place where Shaun is from and where most of his family lives. We moved to the place where I grew up, and where my family is based. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. As excited as I was (and I was VERY excited) to be back up near my family and old friends, my heart was totally torn as I left a place that now felt like home. This change lead me to realize many things. How much I loved both sides of our family. How much I hate change ( I already knew this, it was just reiterated). How important it is to me that I be with my husband and kid wherever I go. How attached I am to people I love. How much I hate scraping snow off my car. And, how worldly possessions suddenly felt unnecessary and inconvenient (anyone who has packed up and moved would agree with me).
Another experience I had was auditioning and being accepted into an orchestra I had always wanted to be a part of. The lesson learned in this experience was that I was able to achieve a goal by working hard and dreaming big. I was genuinely nervous for this audition, especially after finding out that a large amount of people had auditioned and only up to three were going to be accepted. I practiced like crazy to get myself back in shape (I hadn't really practiced diligently since I graduated college two years ago...don't tell my students) and hoped for the best. Honestly, I was really out of shape. But, doing as much as I was capable of was all I could do. I really felt like it was one of those experiences where I did my part, The Lord realized that and he helped with the rest. I learned that this was where I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to be doing. It has been an uplifting experience so far.
Lastly, I had an experience at the beginning of December that really changed my life forever, and for the better. Before I say what it is, I just want to preface it by saying that I am only sharing this experience because I feel the need to. I am not looking for sympathy or attention in any way. Also, by posting it here I am not trying to downplay the tender, bittersweet experience that it was and is for many mothers. I just think that sometimes the hard things in life are just that, hard and hard to talk about. At the same time I believe that sometimes all someone needs is for someone to talk about it for whatever reason, whether it be because they need someone to relate to, to reassure them, or just to let them know that others are going through the same thing. Whatever the case may be, maybe there is someone out there that needs to hear this?
Wow sorry long preface. So here it is:
I got pregnant in October this year. By the beginning of December, The Lord decided that having a baby wasn't in our plan at the moment, and we lost our little one. It's one of those things that I didn't really think could or would happen to me, and then it did. There were so many things I learned from this experience. First, I learned that my testimony and faith are strong. If they weren't, I don't think I would have handled it very well. Of course is was not a happy time, but having the eternal perspective that I did made it that much easier to cope with. Second, I learned that I am a lot stronger than I think, physically and emotionally. I had to go in every week for a month to get my blood drawn (seems like not a big deal to some but I don't deal with dr.'s and pain and things very well). I am bruised from where they took my blood over and over. Every time I went in I was reminded of what had happened, plus all the "fun" bodily side effects that come with this. All this, and, somehow, I am ok. I really felt and feel at peace with everything, and I dealt with the physical things really well, compared to how I usually do. Lastly, I was reminded how much love and support we have from family, friends, and The Lord.
Life really is good. That does not mean there aren't hard times, it just means that life is good. So, here's to a 2017 full of ups AND downs, because really, if we wish for only good things, we will just end up being disappointed. It is inevitable that there will be hard times. When they do come, take the time you need to mourn, recover, whatever you need to do. When you're ready, figure out how the situation can help you or someone else, and continue moving onward and upward!
Happy New Year!
