I Had a Baby...And I Still Love my Husband!

I had a baby four months ago. He is my pride and joy, my little sidekick, my sweet sweet angel and I love him more than words could ever express. I also still love my husband.

You're probably thinking, "I would surely hope so!" But allow me to explain.

"You'll never love someone as much as you'll love that little boy"

"You have no idea what love is until you have a child"

What?? Did I just hear those words? These were word for word some phrases that were said to me while I was pregnant and these things were added to my "I don't like that at all" list. What about the man that I am madly in love with, who is the reason we are having this little boy? How could I possibly love someone else more than I love the one I promised to spend eternity with, the one who I gave my whole heart to and who I share my whole life with? The answer is simple; I cannot. It is not possible.

I love my husband as much as my child, and I love that little baby as much as I love my husband. Of course, they are two different types of love, one is the unwavering love of a mother and one is a committed and romantic love, but to say that one is stronger than the other just hurts my heart to even consider. These two boys mean more to me than the world, and I know that I'll feel the same way about our future children. I love my family with all my heart and as it grows, my love multiplies, it does not divide.

**For me, no love compares to that of a mother to her child, nor to that of a wife to her husband**

So please, next time you want to try to express to someone how much they are going to love their child (which is impossible to put into words, I totally understand), just do it in a way that does not put the significant other on the back burner because if it weren't for mine, we would not be a beautiful family of three.

3 Ways to Keep Your House Looking Great When You're Too Busy to Keep Your House Looking Great!

As a new mother of one, I realize that people with 2 or more children will probably laugh in my face when I say that having a child makes it hard to get anything done. This said, I also believe that everyone adapts, and when I have my second, and my third, I will probably look back and laugh at myself too. Until then, I don't think it's unfair to say that I am a busy mom! I stay at home with the baby almost full time, with the exception of about 15 hours a week when I'm teaching violin lessons.

Which brings us to the subject of housework.

When I was pregnant people told me over and over again, "housework is not important, just enjoy your baby!" And while I mostly agree with that, I also have a hard time enjoying my baby when I am surrounded by a gigantic mess. It makes me anxious and I can't relax and just play with him when it's a complete disaster and there's so much to do. A little mess here and there is one thing, that I can handle; but a house caked in dust with piles everywhere that hasn't been vacuumed in weeks just gives me the heebie jeebies.

****Disclaimer: I always put my baby first, always. Just throwing that out there before I share the rest of this post****

Like I said above, I wholeheartedly agree that baby comes first. Luckily though, I have found a system that works that keeps my house looking pretty good most days, and I don't feel like I have neglected my baby or missed  out on anything at all. I would also like to point out that right now my living situation is just me, my husband, and the baby.  Everyone's situation is different, so these might not work for everybody.

So here they are, 3 ways to keep your house looking great when you're too busy to keep your house looking great!

1. Naptime Rounds
I know what you're thinking, "you're supposed to sleep when the baby sleeps!" Believe me I do my fair share of that, but I generally just take the first five minutes of his nap to do a quick sweep of the house. This usually includes toys and shoes put away, burp cloths in the hamper, snacks cleaned up, etc. etc. By doing this, the house is not a total stye by the end of the night, and even though I still do a nightly round, it's not nearly as time consuming as it could be.

2. Daily Chore Chart
Now that I am taking care of a baby, I don't have the luxury of spending my Saturday, my once "day off" cleaning the house in one big chunk. With my husband in school, these are his catching up on homework days, which makes Saturdays just like any other day for me to take care of the baby. I decided to make a daily chore chart for myself that covers my basic cleaning needs. It has been extremely helpful, as it is much easier to find 10-15 minutes to do a chore than 2 hours to do the whole house at once. Mine looks something like this:
    Monday: Bathroom
    Tuesday: Living room/nursery *Don't be fooled, it's the same room right now. Small house :)
    Wednesday: Kitchen
    Thursday: Kitchen/Bathroom floors
    Friday: Dust
    Saturday: Vacuum
My wonderful husband takes care of the vacuuming and garbages, so I usually use Saturday to do the chore or two that I might have missed that week.  Between this and straightening up during naptime and the end of the day, the house stays pretty clean.

3. Nightly Dish Washing
We don't have a dishwasher, and things can pile up fast. I have made it a habit to do the dishes every single night. It doesn't matter if we only dirtied just two things, I do them. This way I keep up on them and it is never an overwhelming amount to do. This also helps me during the day when I don't have time to do them after we have eaten, I just rinse them off and put them in the sink, knowing I will do them that night. After the baby goes to bed I do all the dishes for that day, lay them out to dry overnight, and first thing in the morning put them away. For those of you who do have a dishwasher, this could be simply loading and unloading instead of washing and drying.

What I wish I knew beforehand about having a baby

There were hundreds of stories and multiple pieces of advice given to me when I was pregnant. I read dozens of blogs and articles about childbirth and post-pregnancy. To say I didn't have an abundance of information on what to expect when I was expecting would be a false statement; and yet, there were still things that caught me off guard. After 6 weeks of taking care of my newborn, here are the most prominent unexpected surprises I have encountered:

The hospital bag

I packed pretty conservatively, and still I hardly used anything I brought. Next time I have a baby, I will be taking the following:

• Phone/charger
• An outfit for baby
• Toothbrush/toothpaste
• A few snacks for husband
• Carseat
  

If I ever do professional pictures there, I probably will pack some cute PJ's, a hairbrush and mascara.

Something I didn't bring that I wish I had and that I definitely will be taking next time around is a gift for the nurses. The nurses were absolutely amazing. I love nurses.

That's really it though. I mean, I spent 99.9% of the time in bed.  I had no desire to even shower until I got home anyway, and the nurses were checking up on me and Oliver was nursing so often that it would have been pointless for me to wear anything other than the hospital gown. I heard arguments that people want to look nice for their visitors, but really, if my family and the few close friends that did visit me did care about my appearance, I would have told them to go have a baby and then look like a million bucks 2 hours later. For real guys, they'll understand.

The emotional roller coaster

This is something I knew was coming but oh. My. Goodness. It was so much more intense than I imagined. I felt like the worst mother in the world because leading up to having Oliver everyone was saying how the second you have the baby it all feels worth it, the sickness, the being fat, the heartburn. The second you see your little bundle of joy all the negativity disappears. You can imagine my disappointment when I got home and for a week was so sad and depressed. Wasn't I supposed to be overjoyed? Glowing? Feeling so blessed to have this amazing miracle in my life? Don't get me wrong, I loved him from the second I laid eyes on him but that first week was, well, hellish. It was hard emotionally and physically, which leads me to surprise #3.

The "life changer"

They say having a baby will change your life, and it did, but not in the way I expected it to. They say parenting is a full time job, but that is baloney. Parenting is 3 full time day jobs, plus the graveyard shift. Everyone goes on and on about how the lack of sleep is the worst part. Quite frankly for me, I can handle the lack of sleep. In the weeks before delivery I had to get up to use the bathroom like 5 times a night, and before that had 5 years of living in student housing with roommates; staying up and watching movies, you know how it is. I have been sleep deprived since high school. No, the biggest shocker for me was the time commitment. Of course I wasn't expecting to be able to get tons done, like clean my whole house in one day, but when I didn't even have 5 minutes to do things like my hair or put on mascara in the morning, that was a game changer. Just be prepared to not get anything done for the first few weeks except nurture and love your little baby.

The bodily fluids

It is amazing to me how much I don't get grossed out when my baby barfs on me, or when he has a particularly nasty diaper, or when he pees on me as I am changing his diaper. I mean having to change my shirt twice a day isn't super fun, but man it just doesn't bother me. Maybe it's because I made him so somehow it came from me? I don't know. But I'm grateful for it because otherwise I'd be disgusted with my own baby, well, all of the time. He spits up a lot. 

The showing off

I love to show off my baby. When people call or text and ask if they can come see him but don't want to be a bother it makes me so happy, I tell them I'd love that! Maybe I'm biased, but man he is a cutie and I love when people ooh and aah over him :)

The love

The last thing that I wasn't expecting is how much love I have for this beautiful guy. I knew I would love him of course, but I didn't think it possible to love another human as much as I love my husband. This baby sure proved me wrong. I love them in different ways, but equally, and I am so happy to have my little family.